A flicker into my life

It is amazing how people can sing of women who have left a profound momentary impact in their lives। These women who have left the hollow, shivering cold from the despair of their absense. These women who pale in comparison to the madonnas of our future. I am left here shattered with only the moment's ambition of telling the devil, i have loved you, i have lost you, and i was wrong. She was beautifully intelligent, gracefully ignorant, and took the breath from me when ever i was near enough to notice her. Painters have shown the blazing pits of hell and tantalizing tales of heaven, yet who am i to say that i don't still feel the shivers from having had. I was weak, i still am. Nothing changes and i find i am only running in circles with my tail not yet found. I was profoundly mismanaging my time when i thought all i had to do was wait. I am but a simple hermit left into a wet dripping cavity i name woman. Waking in cold sweats accompaning the spontanious hyperventilating times of a time long gone but forever missed. I was stupid to let simply one woman could captivate my attention with just a gaze of her eyes, and even more so by climbing into my lesbian partner. I ended it with that one stupid moment of hot sweaty passion and was left with nothing but the moans of and tidal waves of one whore to the next. Each of these women were all models of what humanity considers perfection, yet i find so ugly that it leaves me with spells of nausea to the person i have become. My good friend Andy is blessed with the inability and void of the intention to partake in the rot of this world. He is blessed with the ample fortitude that has left him still virgin. There are plenty of times people tease him for holding on to it, yet i envy him for still having something so amazing. I just wish i was not taught to embrase the very emotions that make me a nomad at heart, and just as incapable of finding someone other then a crack head and loritab addict that show open effection for me. I guess what really leaves me wondering is if the moments i found with the drugs that naturally made their way in my hands were worth the broken friendships, lost lovers, and my perfect woman all for life's erection brought upon by the dizzying spell of a new woman a week on top of a body that i knew was no longer mine , but the dream i had been living with for too many useless days.

twilight, women, inspiration, new beginning

I was reading the third book of twilight when the issue of engagements was presented to me.
I had thought of what kind of jewelry i wanted to be able to purchase for the one i loved. white gold is such a beautiful substance, however diamonds have always been depicted as the material to exhibit your love the most. Women have fancied the aged rock for centuries, and i find myself saddened with the idea that i would not be able to purchase exactly what i would want for a woman who i find, simply more amazing then water. I consider myself a fairly simple person. The small things in life have always made me much more happy then the later larger more insignificant things that come my way. It is without fail however, that i must remember how well my grandfather supported his family. I do not know the specifics of his marriage but if memory serves me, my grandmother's ring was just as amazing as she was a person. I loved the two of them greatly, still do, and he showed me that it's not just about supporting the people you love, it's about providing for them so that they have no need for wanting as well. As far as i can remember he was the only provider for 4 children and his wife. To me, he was the greatest man that ever walked the earth. I have so much respect for my grandfather, and yet i am disheartened because he did not live long enough and i had not the foresight to ask him what i want today. How did you provide for them so well? How were you able to show Poppie that you loved her to the extent you did. I want to be half the man you showed me that you were so badly i want to
punch the very stones around me. And yet when i look around me all i see is failure, uncertainty, and ignorant well wishing. I have failed so many times over and over again, yet i find myself in a position where failure is now unacceptable. I know for sure i am in love with a girl, whom one day i hope that she returns my feelings. That is the one unwavering thought i have, yet i wonder if i can support her as i should. I have no problem with the thought of a modern woman working, yet i want her to work not because she needs to, yet because she wants to. I want to provide her with the things, as materialistic as they are, that my grandfather supported his wife with. I want her to have the world and more. I wonder, is it unrealistic to strive to obtain stuff, not for yourself, but instead for those that you love and or hold so close to you? They have shows for crazy deluded people such as myself, many of which support the host with a 6 ft block of concrete on each wall, sustaining and harboring the inhabitant with bars of steal and hinges of iron, a toilet to both urinate and drink out of, and a poorly furnished bed to sleep on, all of which are deprived of any signs of human caring and are instead radiating the very indifference we share with one another. And yet, i am stuck with the nagging thought of is it deluded to hope or wonder if this person will indeed look at me as more then a friend? I have certainly thought of her as more then such for a number of years. However, i also wonder if it's fair to allow her to love me, as i am certainly not the best person alive that could provide for her momentarily. There is really only one thing right now that scares me. I am not scared by death, i am not scared of injury, i am not scared of the unknown. What scares me the most, is the mere posablity of her being angry with or at me. This is beyond insanity for me, as i don't particuarly care if any one else has any thoughts equally or acceleratingly more potent , such as hate, towards my person. I find myself in quite the place though. I care for this woman so much that when she is mad at me or ignores me, i find myself more confused, or deliberately foul towards others, and/or self destructive. I remember being hurt by her earlier this year when i had caught her lying to me. My choice was equally as powerful, yet much more stupid then the attempt to out whit me. I had takin a semi dull knife and carved a scar into my left arm. I wanted a mark so no matter what happened i could not forget her, yet i could focus on the pain and come to bear anything she sent my way intentionally or/and unintentionally. This mark on my arm taught me not just how painful love is, yet it constantly shows me just how powerful it is as well. First, let me interject by stating i am not really a cutter. I don't find anything pleasurable about the experience nor have i found it worth romanticizing about, yet i thing and support the practice if done intelligently and with logical reason. To me people i have opened up and given love are not to be forgotten. It is for this reason i have a scar on my left arm for someone I don't think I am meant to forget. People receive rings they take off time after time again, however i elected with or without her love to receive something much more/less visible that can never be removed. This all backtracks to the self destructive. To me when they lied, they were showing me that they did not care enough to tell the truth, and as such while i did not want to forget them, i didn't and would not allow myself to be hurt again. The problem was solved. The scar formed, and it constantly reminds me that women are not worth loving completely until they prove to you that they are willing to give you half of what you have for them back towards yourself.

i caught myself several times reading twilight #4, not to the amusement of the occupants of the room i was in, punching the wall, whenever rival lovers were combating one another with both words and thoughts. Ill wishes i am sure were passed my way , as i could do nothing but allow the bricks and wood door to redden the knuckles on the pale white paper we call skin. smiling as pain staggered up and down my arms, i only enjoyed the book farther. This happened some 4 or 5 times throughout the night, not to the amusement of my sleeping room mate. As pissed as he was from his slumber being intruded upon i couldn't help but have a sick smile that twisted and wormed it's way up my face. The night had not been lost, as the author had struck a few cords of perverse anger through me, as i related the feelings spent in the book from Edward and Jacob, to that of myself. Several times i found myself agreeing with choices made inside the book all the while being mortally offended by the romantic nature of Edward. Humor as potent as what i was experiencing should have been made illegal, as the very nature of it threatened to rip my gut and spleen apart.

Over the weekend i found out that i had become an uncle. This i am fairly happy about, as he's a very cut asian baby lol. However i visited a sister of mine who pointed out what so many friends had tried to show me, tell me, convince me, privy me to time after time again. She had pointed out that if the woman whom i am totally absorbed with, adore and loved actually cared for me, then she'd have both seen me more by now as well as been putting in 50 percent of what i try to put into our friendship. I had made a choice on waiting until the end of the year before i threw it all way, however now i'm unclear. I never do well being ignored, and i am slowly beginning to find this person remarkably useless. I think that the way i've been being treated borders on foul and i can certainly see myself becoming rather detached from this individual. I love her with all my heart but i'm scared of being hurt far worse then anything else. I'm sure i am far from the perfect friend. I know i'd be a terrible boyfriend in comparison to some. yet i still love her to death and would toss everything and everyone in the world away just for the chance of making a start with her. this she knows. so it hurts far worse knowing that her silence is a refusal to acknowledge or try. women like this... idk if i have the energy to say, however honestly i can say that no other woman has hurt me worse than this. life moves on though i must stay strong and not allow anyone to alter the plan i have beset before me in life. And as for this girl... she knows the way i feel, that won't change but until i get my car ready and am able to get up there, i doubt she'd so much as glance in my direction. it is after given much thought energy and lack of sleep that i have decided to shut off my phone turn off the internet and refuse to contact anyone but my closest friends for a time undisclosed. truth be told, i had silently been slowly becoming a romantic ... lol no smiles please they make me vomit. Much to my regret but also much to the benefit of the world, never again. I doubt i have many teenage romanticized feelings left, instead i'll be a realist from this day forth. to the girl... you are still the woman of my dreams, i love you, i'm sorry, i'm stupid, goodbye. I don't have anything to back my thinking on other then knowing the way she acts for some 3 plus years now. I can certainly hope she messages me and says i want you as my friend come back, however... i guess i'm giving up, her easy way out that is if she hasn't already taken it. lol what exactly do i want? i want the world, i want her, i want everything above... non of which i have either earned or an in the right of. however i love and i want, and i am feeling that i have certainly lost the fight and possably the war. so in short i want her, i still want us to at least be friends, however i can't promise what my reaction will be when i find out on my own *like usual* why things arn't like they normally have been.

Senator Rockefeller seeking to create free medical software for electronic medical records management

It has been proposed by Senator John D. Rockefeller for the development of universal medical records management software. The bill , The Health Information Technology Public Utility Act of 2009, implements a grant program for the development of open source software.

An open source code for use of medical records management would allow coders to develop it for easier more cost efficient software in the future as well as offer something free of charge for the 80 percent of practices that do not have this available to them. Standards for medical records management are very un-modern and lack the sophistication of what modern electronic medical records provide. Storage space is limited and often times creates a time barrier for employers to facilitate their patients.

Should this bill succeed and become reality, it isn't too hard to predict that medical records will be much easily transfered from practice to practiced due to it being digitalized. Many small practices have not had the resources available to purchase expensive medical software. This bill offers change to organizations that may never have had it become a reality.

There has been more then enough research into open source software to state that it is a cost efficient way to advance the technology of a selected path. In the past each open source generally had a license of use for programmers to build upon. Some open source claimed any changes to be owned by the creators of the open source while others allowed any change to be made and marketed.

The bill does not make it mandatory for anyone to use the open source software, it is simply a grant that provides a modern program available to be used, however I am curious to see if there is a negative impact in the market of medical software. I am hoping at the least patches created by private programmers will be made and marketed as a way of stimulating the economy.

It would be a great help for hospitals and health care as a whole if the only software someone needed to purchase was a quick fix based upon the practice's individual needs.

The belief is that the new software will compliment the older software by allowing more people access to electronic medical records and the old software developers the ability to use the new source integrated within their current software. The only issue i see is that EMR , electronic medical records, has in one way been a great way of having one practice stand apart from a practice of less clinical value. Because the software would become so universally accepted, there would be less definitive difference between the various practices. This in itself offers as many problems as it solves.

The bill supplies money for the project development for up to 5 years, afterwards if the project has shown signs of success it would be extended for additional time and money. Currently Medicaid is the largest and most widely used medical insurance. The bill oversees the integration of it's standards within the medicaid system.

This is a giant step towards universal health care, and i am expecting this bill to be accepted by President Obama.

theogony of hesiod a portrait painting women as evil

I rarely get the opportunity to point fun at women lol, however today is golden. I loves my female companions and from now on anytime i have a relationship that goes wrong, i must absorb in i have known what must be known from the book of  Theogony of  Hesiod. Women were born to be evil and even as such i love them still for they are themselves and thus are worth loving still. My proof from the book of Theogony of Hesiod is written below none taken out of context.

"So spake Zeus in anger, whose wisdom is everlasting; and from that time he was always mindful of the trick, and would not give the power of unwearying fire to the Melian (21) race of mortal men who live on the earth. But the noble son of Iapetus outwitted him and stole the far-seen gleam of unwearying fire in a hollow fennel stalk. And Zeus who thunders on high was stung in spirit, and his dear heart was angered when he saw amongst men the far-seen ray of fire. Forthwith he made an evil thing for men as the price of fire; for the very famous Limping God formed of earth the likeness of a shy maiden as the son of Cronos willed. And the goddess bright-eyed Athene girded and clothed her with silvery raiment, and down from her head she spread with her hands a broidered veil, a wonder to see; and she, Pallas Athene, put about her head lovely garlands, flowers of new-grown herbs. Also she put upon her head a crown of gold which the very famous Limping God made himself and worked with his own hands as a favour to Zeus his father. On it was much curious work, wonderful to see; for of the many creatures which the land and sea rear up, he put most upon it, wonderful things, like living beings with voices: and great beauty shone out from it.

But when he had made the beautiful evil to be the price for the blessing, he brought her out, delighting in the finery which the bright-eyed daughter of a mighty father had given her, to the place where the other gods and men were. And wonder took hold of the deathless gods and mortal men when they saw that which was sheer guile, not to be withstood by men. 

For from her is the race of women and female kind: of her is the deadly race and tribe of women who live amongst mortal men to their great trouble, no helpmeets in hateful poverty, but only in wealth. And as in thatched hives bees feed the drones whose nature is to do mischief -- by day and throughout the day until the sun goes down the bees are busy and lay the white combs, while the drones stay at home in the covered skeps and reap the toil of others into their own bellies -- even so Zeus who thunders on high made women to be an evil to mortal men, with a nature to do evil. And he gave them a second evil to be the price for the good they had: whoever avoids marriage and the sorrows that women cause, and will not wed, reaches deadly old age without anyone to tend his years, and though he at least has no lack of livelihood while he lives, yet, when he is dead, his kinsfolk divide his possessions amongst them. And as for the man who chooses the lot of marriage and takes a good wife suited to his mind, evil continually contends with good; for whoever happens to have mischievous children, lives always with unceasing grief in his spirit and heart within him; and this evil cannot be healed."

I find this amusing as it ventures far enough to state women were born and made to be evil from the start. They were given the seed to create sorrow and evil with the good of a plentiful marriage they bring the man offspring / spawn that provide his with mischievous misgivings. the man is thus fated for unceasing grief a doom set upon him by the gods themselves, so the celts did believe. What a interesting breed they were no? Burned to ash at death, choice of ending by sword, and doomed to eternal damnation by their own women. One must really wonder, if it was their choice to want to live a life with so much dark shadowed alongside it's border.

- Rory Williams

Geocities is shutting down will yahoo stock raise or drop?

Later this year yahoo's free webhosting service GeoCities will be closing permanently. All websites by the end of the year will be terminated, regardless of it being paid for or being free. This means yahoo will no longer offer any form of free webhosting service. The implications are simply put that because they no longer support free web hosting they drop even farther away from major competitor google. As such we can expect a negative outcome for their stock this year, and more importantly closer towards the end of the year. services like webs.com will become of more interest and i forsee that their stock will only raise to a great extent. Google's stock will raise to an exceptional amount at the beginning of yahoo's new conquest of paid hosting. What will be interesting is if people webcrawl and archive geocities websites and develope new websites based off the old ones no longer available? One things for certain this will have a profound impact on the internet.

New stalking tool out on the internet poses future problems?

Face.com Launches Untagged Photo Face Finder Application

sadly i had thought that untagging myself on the internet was enough to avoid my reputation from becoming harmed via job background searches. I was incorrect. There is a new tool out on the internet that is allowing both employers and individuals to gain access to photos that have been uploaded of yourself that you are tagged and untagged in. This tool uses face recognition software to find these images. 

The sick thing about the application is that it allows not only you to find photos of yourself but you can use the same face recognition software to stalk other people as well. I find the idea revolting as it intrudes on personal liberties. This is yet another reason for people to be careful what images they allow people to photograph them of.

While face recognition software isn't new, this new practical use of it is a fairly new introduction to what may become a terrible tool for cyber stalking. Up until now, untagging a photo is how you hide a photo from your Facebook friends, however with this new tool that may not be possable. 

With this new  software i'm sure we'll see many more cases of individual stalking each other in the future by bypassing the social networks engineering programing.

There are more  than 850 million photos are uploaded every month by Facebook’s 200 million or so users, in other words if this application becomes popular you can expect to seea great deal of photos being hidden throuh hightly advanced privacy settings. No longer will we run into photographs that people only want accessable to a few friends due to this application that will pop up in the future.

This is however good news for PR managers to some extent and a nightmare for those just getting into the buisness. 

What makes this particuarly bad, is the software is open source. This means some bored programmer out there will be able to universalize it and have it run on every social network as well as google image stock out there. Cached sites will be used, and perhaps if they are bored enough they will intigrate some source code from webcrawlers that invade private servers. What this means is eventually it may lead to the point where nothing is private online due to this. Any image taken of you and put online with or without your notice will be available for people using this tool. Bad news for people with social lives, the real question is how significantly will this effect the average person? Or will the people that it effects the greatest be our stars or celebrities, or people who have a social side and a professional side? To where exactly will this kind of privacy invasion end?

- Rory Williams

Computer Repair Shop responsable for releasing stolen pornagraphic photos from pop singer's property...

Something i found a bit disturbing was Popular singer Edison Chen found himself the victim of a computer repair shop gone bad. He had dropped his laptop off for repairs unaware that he would soon see himself publicized world wide in many pornographic photos stolen from his computer. Edison Chen is known for the recent movie "The Dark Knight". It's sad that someone can cut the break they might need to become more famous only to fall prey to the inhuman thoughts and wishes of people less deserving.

Sadly people will know him from one of the largest sexual scandals that have hit the Hong Kong/ Chinese film industries scene.

The scandal has sense become known as the "Edison Chen Incident," exploiting digital photographs of Chen in sexual acts with celebrities including Bobo Chan and Gillian Chung.

Police arrested eight employees at the computer repair shop responsible for the releasing of property over the internet. The police believe over a thousand images were stolen off the computer, many of which were leaked over the Internet to either forums or web sites devoted to anonymous submition for photographs dealing in pornographic material.

In many Asian countries the tabloids are much more invasive, then what we find within the united states or Europe. Sadly this scandal made it's way on the front page of tabloids for quite some time, releasing photo after photo. Some of the celebrities considered suicide after many detrimental attacks on their careers and reputation within the community.

Sadly it has only taken rumors of more videos and pictures to come for Chinese and other Asian viewers to constantly search and find more illegal material in relation to this case.

Police commissioner Tang King Shing declared possession of photographs in relation to this case is illegal and grounds for arrest after constant release of photographs was made via the Internet.

The commissioner was under review and constant interrogation by press and lawmakers as he had openly stated he would indite anyone who had downloaded the photographs. Reasonably the greatest concerns by citizens were simply that the police had taken special interest in this one case due to the victims celebrity status, and had not taken the same interest in prosecution for people with less fame.

Chen's image was tainted and hurt extremely due to his constant centering of his career around a fan base consisting of teenage women within Asia. It is a growing concern that his reputation and career may never be able to be repaired due to his cultivation of his status amongst this fan base.

Perhaps what is more concerning is that these photos may have not had the concent by the women in question. Chen has sense been removed from many upcoming features and will sadly be known for something publicly intruded on through illegal manipulation of his property.

Free Law Advice?

Well holy holy, i just stumbled upon the following site meant for free advice on various topics of interest (law advice). I thought this was very cool because other then this and web MD, there are not many sites giving away information related to high priced careers. anywho the site is http://family-law.freeadvice.com/

Abolishment of Serfdom in Tibet an alternative view on the Dalai Lama

I was reading a post done in the Beijing Review (China's online publication of articles) for an interesting opinion on matters i may find of interest when i stumbled upon a gold mine of opinionated anti west views upon something i had felt was pretty clear cut before. The article in question made several references to US publications, and associated them with the term "white paper". I found this fairly unappealing as the term was a tad inappropriate, yet the topic on Tibet's abolishment of serfdom with it's country was interesting enough to stomach the blatant red curtain terms.

50 years ago the emancipation of over one million serfs in Tibet was considered a remarkable stage in the progression of Anti-Slavery, also known as Abolishonist, movements. This change was considered made mostly due to the impact that the United States Civil War made world wide.

I had no idea before that our civil war would impact not only the lives within the united states but also that of those outside and alter the history made by China's human rights development as well. The event should be known worldly as a remarkable stepping stone that paved the path of progress for not only the freedom of slaves within the united states but forced an impression on countries who stood of a alternate opinion sense feudal times.

I am highly encouraged that our great country is able to make an impact on others without forcing itself upon others with military arms. China had at one time had to halt a rebellion led by Dalai Lama anti-nationalists, and followers after the invasion and extraction of the Dalai Lama within Tibet made by Chinese troops.

Historically it is taught within the United States that the Dalai Lama was and had always had his freedom infringed upon by Chinese nationalists, however the implications by the article beset and written by the Beijing Review imply that not only were his freedoms stripped and taken by Chinese authorities for good cause, but that it was done in order to stop the progression of a large scale rebellion made and started by none other then the Dalai Lama himself.

The Dalai Lama had held the opinion that serfs should be offered freedom regardless and elected to seek military / martial means to abdicate the situation at hand. The Chinese government sought to defend national unity and as such defended their country and lead an invasion of Tibetan territory extracting the Dalai Lama from his position within the country and forcing him and his followers to be extracted to India.

Historically it is proven that liberating serfs and slaves is nothing less then progression for keeping the nation in question unified yet, its always interesting to see countries refuse based upon tradition or perhaps the more obvious being the significant impact and ill impact that could be made on a non-democratic government, despite it doing nothing but protecting basic human rights recognized internationally.

The Dalai Lama has been accused of misleading the international opinion by non other then the west as well as china. After their forced retreat from Tibetan land, the Dalai Lama has continued to sabotage the development of the country of Tibet. Western forces have been blamed for their opinion on the abolishment of feudal serfdom or emancipation of people in general. The west has held the opinion that it trespasses on human rights for years. I find it interesting none the less that this is still an idea of significant contrast depending on the geographic region. Perhaps the events held within Tibet are not nearly as clear coated as they are shown nationally and more importantly historically within school. It now appears to me that it is taught within the school systems as an opinionated matter and not as non partisan material.

Reference : Xinhua News Agency March 2, 2009

Abolishment and / or Recontextuatlization of the N word

In 2007 there was a battle to ban the N-word in New York City. While upon first glance this doesn't seem unjustified as it can be constitutionalized by proclaiming the word as a "fighting word" and thus not backed by our right for "freedom of speech" located within the bill of rights, I have to look at it as if there is any significant impact on modern culture and how it could effect social breeding. In 2007 there was plenty of controversy among both caucasian and african americans about the significance of the word and if it was appropriate to issue a state ban on it. If the word is used extreamly fluently and while in some cases inaccurately by both races, I have to wonder if it's appropriate to issue a ban on a word that is so widely used by all races, included the very one that it could potentially have offensive impact to. Honestly i hold the oppinon that we do not need to change our constitution nearly as much as we try each year, and farther more, i believe that the word should not be banned but instead frowned upon it's use within american homes. It should be the duty of the family to educate our sons and daughters on the proper use of the word, should there be an oppinon that there is one.

David Duke, arrested for violation of thought crime laws wtf?

Recently it was published that former state representative Dr. David Duke, was released from custody by Czech authorities. The State representative had been accused of violatin the country's Thought crime laws. He had been accused of openly denying the Holocaust." Several protests were made at police headquarters located in Prague and demands for his release from around the world. Fortunately David Duke was released from custody and prosecution was not made. Had Czech officials decided It was worthy of bringing to court, David Duke would have faced upwards to three years in prison for holding the "wrong" opinion about historical events.

It's a sick twisted chain of events when as stupid as it is to openly discredit something as historical as the holocaust, the information that you pass to viewers can be discouraged by fear of imprisonment. One can only hope that this is not one of a series of a chain of events that will lead to the abolishment of our freedom of speech. Hopefully we will not see the threat of wrongful inprisonment based upon jewish history anytime in the future.

- Rory Williams

Dang this bride and groom struck quite the deal

Midwest Photography has developed a curriculum that incourages the community to work with their students in developing both their skills and a portfolio while offering inexpensive professional photography done for their weddings. The course is called "Wedding Techniques and Buisness Practices W-520-A". It was held Saturday, Apr 25 10:00 am to Sunday, Apr 26 10:00 am at Farmington Hills, MI. It was a two day workshop where students learned not only the technical skills required in the job market but how to efficently take the kinds of shots in order to finish a wedding album in a timely fashion. Admitedly i wouldn't want my photo taken all day, however wedding photos take an exceptional amount of time to perform. It is an important lesson that students must learn especially with the short amount of time available to photograph the soon to be husband and wife directly after the ceremony. Anywho i found this interesting that workshops like this exist. I'm sure the school makes a killing off charging for the photography as well as the film etc etc, however over all it helps everyone out.

Cute Buisness means... a woman? wtf?

I recently stumbled across a new meaning for "cute Buisness"
In the urban dictionary it is refered to as "Describing someone, a girl usually, who is cute." Example "upon leaning over his shoulder to see the picture of her, he was shocked at how cute she appeared, and said "Liz is cute buisness".

any who i found this fairly entertaining

Couple has sex on motor freeway

Sadly not everything interesting happens within the united states. I wish that were the case however, in Norway, a man is being prosicuted after having been found having sex while speeding down a motorway. The police said that his vision was impared due to his girlfriend riding him and her back intruding on his ability to see the road. There will probably be no jail time or little jail time, however a large fine will more then likely be introduced amounting up to several thousand crowns. The 28 year old man and 22 year old woman were caught on easter sunday by traffic police on E18 highway, around 40 km from Oslo. I am left wondering if their first words when being caught in such a compromising position were "oh jesus". The couple's Mazda 323 was found traveling some 133km/h in a 100km zone. Sadly had the couple had been able to stay inside the lanes without weaving they may have escaped capture. The two adrenaline junkies were pulled over after traveling nearly a kilometer. The man's driver's license was revoked due to the danger he presented. Yet again i am left with the thoughs of... did they take his license because they felt it was urgent or the were jelious that their wives won't put out in the car?

The case should be held some time within the next couple weeks. I wouldn't mind being there to see the outcome myself... Someone purchase me a ticket?

A change with COBRA Insurance

Some months ago, i read about a friend of mine that was suffering economically due to the heavy restrictions and costs implimented by COBRA insurance. I find their company fairly predictable and disturbing.
The economic stimulus legislature would reduce the preiums and extended coverage time for COBRA insurance. COBRA insurance would be required to notify ex employees of the change within 60 days. Workers who were laid off roughly around september 1, 2008 could possably qualify to pay only 35 percent of the premium. The employer would have to take on 65 percent of the left over premium. This would be considered a tax credit on their employment tax return.

Workers who were laid off between September and Febuary who dropped out of the insurance because they were unable to pay the high premium costs are able to get back on the insurance program. If you are potentially one of these people who may qualify for these specifics with COBRA insurance, please contact your local department of human services for more details.

Resource -Jeff B. Copeland

Electronic Medical Records... Are they changing?

We have seen the change from paper medical records to electronic medical records in the larger hospitals across the nation. However, what is interesting is that some private practices have still not made this transition due to the cost of expensive medical records software. Closer to date there have been two alternative situations presented to us. One is by the french owned company google. Google allows the user to keep up with their own medical records and have them faxed to a healthcare clinic. This allows the user to not only make sure they are familarized with what goes on with their own body, but it also makes it easier for private practices, who do not have modern facilities to work with their patients. This allows a sort of teamwork and cooperation that has not been seen to this level between doctor and patient. I am very interested to see how this effects the healthcare industry.

Walmart is leading the change in retail software provided to family clinics. Knowing that less than 20% of U.S. doctors use electronic medical records, Wal-Mart is seeking to provide the practices with discounted software. Wal-mart has never been known to provide much software to the health care technology market, yet they are the leaders in a revolutionary ground breaking affordable e-record software. It is being presented to small practices that still operate under paper documentation. The package deal will come with desktop pc from Dell and software provided and made by EClinicalWorks. This should hit the market in the spring. For the practices that just recently upgraded their desktops, perhaps Walmart will take this option in consideration and offer for sale the software by EClinicalWorks seperately. As for now i have only heard of a package bargain and not sold seperately, yet i'm sure the company will have some forsight.

resource - Eve Lopez

Smoking... Is it relevant to both the economy and healthcare?

I figured it would be about time to say something about smoking in a ambulatory health care center. I understand peoples concerns about the impression you beset upon others, yet i am forced to wonder at why a person who works there must hide by a fence in order to draw in the little comfort they get to be able to mentally drag themselves back inside the war zone that awaits them. Throughout the past the tobacco industry had tried to hide the harmful effects that their product did to the people that smoked it. They researched for years and poored several millions of dollars to find different ways to manipulate the truth and mask the fact that their product killed. However now informed of this, 20 percent of americans continue to smoke. They do not care about the side effects that the product may induce. "According to Partnership for Prevention and the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids, smoking-related illness results in $100 billion in health care costs each year". What does this mean? In a sense the tobacco industry helps the economy thrive. The constant existence of more and more sick / ill people that stroll into the health-care community causes billions of dollars to be pumped into the economy.

Why is it that the state of tennessee invoked a smoking law banning the act from public restraunts and facilities then? This is largely due to the state protecting the small business owners. On an average a smoker will miss upwards to 7 more days of work then a person that refrains from the act. This is why it's becoming more and more common for small buisness owners and small healthcare practices to force their employees to not smoke on their property by creating no-smoking policies.

Many such employers offer assistance and incentives for employees that are hooked on the drug and wish to stop polluting their system. Some employers will send their employees to rehab in order to get them off a drug that may cause a harmful work environment , if of course they were allowed the use of the drug prior to the policies being put into action.

Yet, we have constant arguments on should a work force or state government be able to intrude on people's personal liberties. To this i say " Let the state and government intrude on what is considered their domain... yet the moment they intrude inside the household of the common american citizen then they will and should be proclaimed to be doing nothing less then commiting an act of terror.

Static Chaos Incorporated

I was considering making a web marketing buisness. I'm very well versed in the many forms of marketing to use on the web for either personal as well as corporate. Honestly i've spent some time figuring out what exactly it was i wanted to do. I've known for some time that i wanted a couple internet buisnesses at the least. I have and do still have an exceptional tallent at marketing others through the web, and have a very good track record with their growth. The first thing on a series of different campaigns i'm considering launching regarding a corporate internet..

locked in syndrom and medical ethics house md

I was watching house md, and i was inspired when i saw a number of things in the show that were both humorous as well as mind invoking. First we have the patient with locked in syndrome, a condition often spung on by a stroke or injury to the brain stem, where it gave us he inside look on what a patient not only thinks but goes through in the waiting room. The humor of course was when the poor man had to be catheterized and despite being paralyzed from the neck down he somehow was able to get nerve impulses to his brain, despite the brain stem being damaged. I can only assume this meant it was not severed, thought the extent of the damage, i would think would be fairly severe as he couldn't fucking move... any who as our patient was screaming out in pain, at least in his mind... we come into the situation of what if your a donor but in this particular condition. Awe inspiring i tell you. the patient is alive though with minimal brain activity, he is considered to be dead and thus available for being an ready donor. The ethics in this are of course should a patient be diagnosed as dead with minimal brain activity or should we always have to wait for none. Anyways i thought that was a fun little debate into the world of medical ethics. Someone who is basically dead, their life totally changed regardless, vs someone who's life can remain unaltered or altered towards the better, who has higher value? Also i really have to look up if indeed if the brain stem remains partially intact if the spinal cord is still able to transmit pain to the brain, i'm assuming it can because it's just nerve impulses. however i'm also assuming it won't do it's job / task as well.

Affluence the social nightmare or elitist tool of marketing

Affluence is a social network that demands it's members have a min of 300 thousand dollars income in order to be able to join. it's interesting to see a site jump on the bandwaggon of elitist thoughts and make it easier for those of considerable income to network with others of the same social standing. my thoughts are fairly mixed, i know i know you may be thinking unfair i can't join because i'm poor in comparison to that? well that may be true but each website is considered private property although publicly accessable and thus i understand while there may be sentiments, over all the idea seems to be fairly interesting at least

Vampires... Crazed or Fact? you pick the insantiy

vampires, are they real or are they simply just a figment of some crazed individuals mind.

there are many sites claiming the powers of vampirism including temple of the vampire, www.vampirewebsite.net, sanguinarius, and even in the local school communities. however according to this video, this fad that has hit modern society has it's bad points in addition to the good ones. watch and find out just what i mean. i remind you just in the last year we have had a number of films including but not limited to twilight and books written by anne rice produced and published effecting not only the youth but society as a whole.

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13 Years

*this was a poem that i wrote called 13 years*
*either reply here or at my myspace


You were there for me when all was lost

You were my only light i could see

When mist was clouding my eyes, you lead me through

As you vanished with the light of the moon, i got caged

You trapped my heart inside a cave with no light

I'm constantly struggling to find the little water needed to survive

Even as i make progress towards the edge of the cave, your mud weighs
me down

Lost in my mood of despair, self inflicted cuts feel better than the pain you
set

Wrapped in my blanket of warm blood, i see nothing but stars

you've decapitated this body of mine with a smile

When will you sow it back up with needles and love

you cast me into the dark without a last glance

At the end I'll wait here bleeding enclosed in my bubble of love and self
endorsed hate

The Fast and the furious 4

Download the vid here Click to download here
you have to rename the file as it will show up on your computer as a video file named zelxpxemwcqs ,however please enjoy. I did not upload this i am simply sharing what i have found on the web :P

Fast & Furious (2009) [Good Cam] Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster IMDB:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1013752/

Can't watch this? Download the DivX Web Player for Windows or for Mac! Not working? Troubleshoot!

Twilight and my relation to the strange

I was watching twilight and i thought good god the main character is fucking creepy. He follows the girl shadowing her everywhere, thinking about her, just wanting to drink ever part of her entire self in. Yet, i thought perhaps i'm just as ill as this fictitious character. Thinking of the same girl as long as i have, with little reward of the fact, other then the happiness i experience any time we converse. He spoke of her being his own personal type of blood to sustain. I think it says it best, the girl being your own personal brand of food. But she is a beverage as well. She is someone that time itself stops the decay as she ages and becomes gentle sweet liquid who's every thought is worth drinking in. Her appearance becomes less and less important but all together every bit more potent simply by knowing them longer. I've never been very protective over many people around me. It isn't something that comes natural but i don't know anyone else that i want to protect as much. Yet people explain to me why i feel the way i do, why i think the way i do, and better yet why i want to do nothing but run from the thoughts and the person who has enveloped ever bit of longing that i have. I have some couple weeks left of school (roughly a week and a half) and i want to do nothing more and nothing less then make my way 2.5 hours east and go visit the person i care for. Nothing else really matters other then grabbing a job and seeing them as much as i can. I seriously don't give a damn who knows i like/love heather. I tell just about everyone i meet if they have an interest in me that i won't date anyone while i'm in this school and when i get out i'll go try and catch a moments attention from that person i care for. I'm again not sure what they think, but again i dont' care either, simply because this is me. I have be questioned about well she won't wait, and my thoughts? She needn't have to, but if she is with someone when i can come up, i'll have to find some way to steal her away :P I don't believe in honor or respect when it comes to this. I've played that game for long enough and with this one, i don't care what i have to do as long as by the end of the card game she's next to me holding the same cards as i do. I don't believe in timeless love, we live, we die, thus we have only a certain amount of time to give. Each moment is special and all encompassing. Each fragment of a moment is a section that one must be careful how it's spent. And as such i'm hoping i find out if she can forgive that i have made mistakes, dumb choices and am probably not the ideal choice for someone to spend their time with, however still find the time and wanting to care for me half as much as i do her. Wish me luck, or at least to have that one attribute that i am constantly lacking above all else. Patience... because this choice/action... i don't want to fuck up. Yet i think what's more relative is the end, when the vampire is sucking from her the poison in her life and he doesn't know if he'll be able to stop. Her blood tastes that good, that he is delerious from the thirst yet quenched. I am stuck in the position of figuring out if i am strong enough in mind to hold back some with someone that the phrase just simply doesn't really exist. Because if she were to vanish from the face of the earth, I would just have to find a way to get to her still. She is the only quentasential factor in my life, everything else is but a rift or beat in the mellody. She is the inspiration.

Any who, I have an appointment to wake up in 4 hours and go to work so i suppose i should lay myself down to bed. But i toast you to the words and thoughts of a mix. Martin Luther King Jr once said "I have a dream where all men are created equal"... let this shining moment be my bitter value of sarcastic pesamistic virtue for the day. CNN recently held a special on Martin Luther King Jr unlike most of the videos you'd find during black history month. The show was releasing evidence as to why the kennedy family disliked this ambitious man, as to how he was reveared by a great many people, and how he was human and just as leacherous as the great many men in our masses. Funny that a recording of him making a crude joke of the president's wife would set a great many evil acts in play. But for all this information we can thank the good old watch dog, Mr. J Edgar Hoover, the man had shit on everyone. I should have known with as many hotels as King went to, he'd have had something on him as well. Although i must say the recording of King having sexual relations with a young attractive woman was not the way i wanted to lay myself down to sleep. thank god for twilight, and thank god for having someone to care about. now if i could only get over the madness called from not hearing from them in a bit. ... fuck beans, someone give me a research project to burn the mind away with. geh good night.

<3 Rory Williams E>


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Rocky lessons

I was watching Rocky Balboa when i noticed a scene where Rocky, distraght from not being able to read well, is practicing reading in his bed next to his wife. I was struck with the notion of what exactly it meant to be good to your significant. Sticking through with them despite them doing things they may seem rather unimportant to you and insignificant, you offer your support throughout regardless of. Despite their choices not making a great deal of sense, you stick with them because the fact they are trying is enough.

lazzar the closest you come to the truth of ...

I was reading the book lazarre a 1901 book about the french and the english, ... more to come be sure lol. ... in any order i wanted to quote something because i found it was something as of that date that has never changed despite the era frequently molding to something different.

" I admit nothing, monsieur. These are days in which we save our heads as well as we can and admit nothing."

unfortunatly it is too frequent that we come to this reality. People are willing to disclose so little about themselves, yet they expect to thrive in whatever situation that has become evident.

Medical Assisting, Vs Dental Assisting and Accreditation

So I have been going to school for a little bit again and I'm rather unimpressed by the teaching habits of Remington as well as both the other colleges I've gone to. I'm not sure it's due to me being able to learn fairly well on my own but i think that a school like Remington should focus more on clinical studies and allow students to learn on their own academically and be tested for it later. perhaps I'm wrong but i think in this case I've been teaching myself through their book as i did in several of my other classes before. unless the teacher's style is compatible to your person you won't learn from them though you are expected to walk away with the knowledge anyways. I found out that the knowledge a dental assistant needs is far less then the medical assisting profession from a valid source... a dental assistant lol who else lol. apparently they do not need to be even certified any more and only require 1 certification , that to make radiology scans. they do not interpret anything as that isn't their job. I'm unimpressed though i plan to pick up that certification and teach myself their knowledge as a keepsake. My school doesn't know what to do with me as they haven't had a student like me before apparently that is willing to learn on their own with only the books provided. i need no instruction but i promise i will and can pass all tests thrown my way. should i require help of some kind * i doubt* surely it's nice to go to school where ic an get that as part of the educational studies included in my tuition. i was considering reading up on criminal justice for fun value as well. lol lordy i love politics. In any order all this left me with questions that I've gone over thus far

it seems to me if needles were standardized into butterfly double sided needles then a lot of time energy resources and none would be saved, why have they not done this thus far? payoff? the only thing you would need to do is increase and decrease the length of the needle , most of the time you would be able to use smaller needles for most intravenous injections / insertions . it escapes me why this hasn't happened.

Ethics... i find the topic amusing. I understand why there are federal restrictions but to be fired hired or monitored over such a thing as ethics i find ridiculous. The definition of ethics is opinion based and non factual so it doesn't and should not be applied to the field or anything at that other then personal beliefs. I understand part of being professional not a requirement necessarily despite popular belief and teaching is to make an unbiased decision and choice when such occasions arise, however because ethics is opinion based it shouldn't alter the job field in any way and no lawsuits or imprisonment should be enacted based only upon it and should be taught as optional and only to be applied as such.

More on school i am wondering if it is our litigious nature that has made apprentices disappear taught by a master of the craft or if they aren't extinct they are certainly more unheard of. Because of these odd malpractice lawsuits we are sacrificing quality workers for a production line of them. however because of the lawsuits and lack of quality in today's workers i am left with the only conclusion i can draw from this... we are doing this to forgo responsibility and force someone else to claim our mishaps. There will always be someone left to sue and some poor fucker to have to be sued for some one else's error in judgment.

Empathy... wtf is that... We are there for a job, our job requires us to fix and diagnose someone's condition. we catilogue this for someone else to diagnose a responsible healing technique or medicinal solution. In no part of the job description does it say i have to pamper your feelings. I sincerely hope you get better, I will do whatever is in my power to make sure you heal, however if you have aids and your dick is rotting off because of your escapades don't expect me to empathize with that. You did it to yourself, you slept around or were irresponsible with your body, suffer the consequences and deal with your situation. If you are some fat fucker walking in because of your colesteral and have a piece of fried chicken stuck between your teeth and you complain to me that your stomach has been upset i'll take your vitals and refer you to someone who can help you but i won't begin to say i understand your situation because i've never been a guy with moobies hanging down to my knees and dead bird rotting between my teeth. get off the grease you bastard and stop coming in to see me, and for god's sake wipe that look of shock off your face at my passive i don't give a fuck attitude in response to you incompitant and retarded nature.

What ever happened to the walk in physician. You watch old western on tv where the local town quack comes to your house and uses his mad skills to remedy your illness. We have modern science and more education then we ever have before however we have lost something in the process. No longer can you call someone to your bedside stare up in those all knowing eyes and expect good care, you must walk your ass into an ambulatory care setting and wait for hours to be received by some fucker who might just prescribe you a big dose of ibprofen... i hope you see where i am going with that. if you are going to get royally fucked get it up the ass in your bed and not at some hospital where you've puked all over the side of yours' or someone else's car just to bend over and feel real good.

It's common to believe that you can and will always be healed with the red pill, but what if you had of taken the blue pill and pocketed the red one for another day? We Invest a lot of energy and currency into health care practices based on integrated health care not as a individual practice but complimentary to the medicine we hand out and charge bundles for. It has occured to me that if it can be solved naturally first then why shouldn't we exercise those practices well before seeing a physician to give use the medicinal means to get past our predicament. If integrated medicine was the primary focus and practice for practioners and patients to request then you wouldn't hear stories of someone addicted to loritabs nearly as much, or at least the excuse coming from their mouths. "my doctor gave me this and now i'm hooked". not only are you saving money and not coughing your life away to the pharmacudical companies but you are insuring the effectiveness of a medicinal treatment in the future for something just as bad if not worse.

Proprietary practices are a civil service. They may be private but they are still health care regardless of their affiliation. the question runs , should a proprietary practice receiving religious backing be able to receive federal aid as well? Despite an educational institution being there to better the community if they are affiliated with a religious faction they can not receive federal or state tax dollars. Should some things not be sacred from prosecution?

Lastly what of professionalism. Is it really all that it appears, or is it a legal way of judging based on a preconceived notion or bias inbreed and impressed upon from the flavorful notions of a bitter and unmoving stagnant people. we are born and raised with moral and ethical notions just as we enter the job force young and have professional qualities impressed upon us based off of someone else's intent, even if that intent is simply to create a worker that will do or think some off color. again can we judge a case or employee for something like professionalism when a professional has nothing to do with the attire or hairstyle they wear , nor does it have to do with their wanton ideas already in head. a professional is simply a gentleman or lady. it is the notion of someone of the past put in the workforce in a modern society. What is the reaction of this? ... radioactive degradation of the job and community around it.

reading color atlas of dental medicine *radiology*

so i'm reading "Color Atlas of Dental Medicine" (radiology) ... wtf is up with the way that the author must represent simple things with an entire paragraph that could be simplified down to one sentence ... that's just annoying. i mean is it so hard to say because a dentist is responsable for removing developments in the mouth the use of film and radiographic devices has been implemented?

apparently Friedrich A Pasler believes so... i swear i'm going to rewrite this thing so it's more understandable for the common person when i'm through with it or while i'm reading in... what a turd...

although i must say he's a very brilliant man and i will suck off his knowledge like a leech would his blood... feed me you bastard feed me
*update* while i do belive that Pasler could have gotten the point across with much easier terms idk if creating a manual for this would help the general public so fuck them, however what i find annoying is that reading through this book i'm having to go over research into very basic words such as periodontal, periodontics, mandible, and Maxilla ... all of wich have such basic meanings it's rather embarrassing* more to come

Romans 1:17

"For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith."

i understand this is how faith works, however i am presented with a problem. if one is supposed to know and believe in god as much as they can they must challenge the belief. They have to seek out answers for themselves and get to that point where it seems pointless to no regard because in all directions it points to god. he is something nobody can fathom however we must do our duty to try as we must as well as we can. if you live by the book, it won't be a bad life necessarily.... certainly not a poor way to impact humanity, however you won't be doing your duty to your faith. In this scripture is states the only way is to live by your faith, however blind faith is dangerous and indecent. how are we to be judged when we enter the gates? I wish i could say i know the answer however i'm sure that the only way to enter is to seek out all the answers and know your faith, don't just blindly follow the word of some preacher or book, seek it out through your life experience, your blood and your ambition only then can you find the happyness we choose to ignore all around us. Have faith in god but also have faith in the meaning of. the word derived from fīdere meaning to trust. what's important to know is t
Category: Religion and Philosophy
"For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith."

i understand this is how faith works, however i am presented with a problem. if one is supposed to know and believe in god as much as they can they must challenge the belief. They have to seek out answers for themselves and get to that point where it seems pointless to no regard because in all directions it points to god. he is something nobody can fathom however we must do our duty to try as we must as well as we can. if you live by the book, it won't be a bad life necessarily.... certainly not a poor way to impact humanity, however you won't be doing your duty to your faith. In this scripture is states the only way is to live by your faith, however blind faith is dangerous and indecent. how are we to be judged when we enter the gates? I wish i could say i know the answer however i'm sure that the only way to enter is to seek out all the answers and know your faith, don't just blindly follow the word of some preacher or book, seek it out through your life experience, your blood and your ambition only then can you find the happyness we choose to ignore all around us. Have faith in god but also have faith in the meaning of. the word derived from fīdere meaning to trust. what's important to know is that despite all the evil and unlawful people you have to learn to trust everyone. trust yourself above all else, but trust in those around you as well, no matter what background they came from. People have to choose very carefully what the meaning of is in a book as old as the bible. funny how one small line can provoke so much. however i think it is plain as day that the line is not only in reference to you should live by your religion but more so as to how you should choose to live your life , on breath. remember time is endless, and meaningless , it is a misconception and figmant imbued and recited to and from us.

marijuana the things you don’t hear on the street

In a recreational context, marijuana has been shown to affect health, brain function, and memory. For some people, marijuana raises blood pressure slightly and can double the normal heart rate. This effect can be greater when other drugs are mixed with marijuana; but users do not always know when that happens. As a result of this , the user will become tired, and in some cases though extreme die.... Some patients will suffer psychological duress, may suffer acute anxiety and have paranoid thoughts. In some cases, a user who has taken a very high dose of the drug can have severe psychotic trauma and need immediate medicinal treatment. THC changes the ways your sensory information gets processed by the hippocampus, a crucial brain component frequently used for learning, memory, and the integration of senses with emotions. Learned behaviorisms degenerate. you are ingesting 3 to 5 times as much tar in a rolled blunt of weed as you are a cigarette. Marijuana has been directly attributed to depression, fatigue, heightened hostility, and changes in academic performance. A person under the effects of marijuana can show signs of paranoia. long term effects include the hightened chance of lung and heart failure , infidelity and learning impairment. over 120,000 people suffer the effects of marijuana every day. marijuana can cause physical dependency. marijuana is classified as an"immunosuppressant" in short use of the drug can and will decrease your body's ability to fight off harmful agents in your environment. as a result it has been medically proven to accelerate effects of HIV into progressing into full blown AIDS. 125,000 deaths in the US every year can related to the use of marijuana. Cancer of the oral cavity,pharynx, and larynx have also been characterized with the use of the drug.memory defects may persist six weeks after last use.

I'm just curious the last time you bought a sample of weed did your local drug sellin shitbag tell you just harmful it can be before you smoked it, or did they just watch as you sucked your life away. gotta pay the bills though, even at the cost of your life. personally i'd be more inclined to buy from someone who actually knows how it could harm you, course you never know perhaps they have smoked so long they now have a deficiency to inform you or process this information.
next time they tell you it doesn't or won't harm you ask where they got their information because mine is supported by a variety of government agencies, medical centers, MDs , physicians, clinical surveys and practices as well as documented events all outside of my social circle. but then again i'm sure years of study a doctors degree and objective surveying should be tossed out the window some douchebag selling you drugs opinion.

feel free to interject though? i am currious what your response is on this :P

- Rory Williams
Visit my Myspace and say hello!!!

Self Pity

I was watching GI Jane and this poem was mentioned several times, after lookin at it several times, it struck me how true this was. we are such irresponsable creatures. the only one with imaginations, but if that is truly in your heart then i suggest medicate your self pity with denial of responsabilities, or at least whatever is paining you so much. honestly the movie is ultra sexy not really because of the delish appearance of people, but more so what their nature is. Funny, i think i can relate at least a little to lawrence, however normally i'll finally reach a state of apathy well before my barriers disappear.

"Self-Pity

I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.

D. H. Lawrence"

anyways i just felt it was very true and a lesson learned.

life choices... or are they...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

As many have heard my plans have pretty much been to move to Knoxville, i won't lie about it I've liked this person for a while now... what sucks is it's 12:00 am and i am left wondering about if it's what's right for me, or smart. my friends have told me follow your heart, and it says give it a shot but then why am i still awake. why do i want to drown myself inside the bottle and escape for the night. i've chosen a career path and i do think i'll do well in it, however i'm not sure i know what to do in a future ordering me where or where not to settle. i know alot of it has to do with i don't realy know many if anyone in knoxville and i hate being alone. i was walking to school today at 6:30 am in a land of frost and the only thing i could think of was just how nice it was to be in OZ. I've traveled places yes, i've met many unique individuals but it doesn't and hasn't told me where my place is in this world. i don't consider it morbid but there have been many times over where i considered myself a walking corpse. i am a child meant to have died away at some point and yet i live on. i will continue defiance until my flame is out however i'm unclear what my destiny or future should be. i'm positive of what i could do and what some possabilities are but i'm not sure if i'm man enough to make either choice about them. yet i have to, i must, and i know i will in the end.

i met some mormons recently , i do know that if i could redo life if given the choice i'm not sure i would enter a time of dejavu . i've seen so many relationships fail , mine including. yet i also see just as many thrive. it's in my nature to question things but who am i to try and predict something when i'm so damn self destructive. i could build the world but one day destroy it out of boredom. reality is what we percieve it to be yet many and myself included walk with indifference.

winter i'm sure is in my heart , i radiate heat through the snow. My body has always been warm to the touch when i will it to be so. i can pretty much monitor just how warm or cold i am despite most environments. where i'm going with this is when i saw all the frost my mind was clear, i didn't care what future existed because there was none, only the present. life isn't about the choises you make or the person you become, it's about the present, there is no past, not future you just are. you exist you thrive you suffer. i'm still not sure what i'll do but i was at home this morning in the cold. i was warm i breathed easy and there was no future to weigh me down. for that single moment of true peace, i'm thankful.

- Rory Williams
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For people who don’t know me or want to know more

I'm not entirely sure why i'm writing this or what the result could be from writing it. I've been fighting my nature for the last well months, I've set women aside for the hope of snagging the big catch either now or in the future. Alot has happened sense i've came back from colorado and i've pretty much found myself in worse and worse spots yet i'm still happy for the most part. I've started the process in going back to school, i'll go to a university when i'm through with Remington , i've decided it's best of love the time that i've spent with the girls of my past and forget them for hopefully the one in the future. I've found myself ofton surrounded by music dazzled by the atmosphere it sets and the many lives it either destroys or makes. I've picked the pen back up in hope of drawing one third as fair as i used to. i've decided for the most part the only books i want to read should contribute to the knowledge and changes i want to make in this world and above all i've decided a life deprived of ethics and values is useless to me. I plan on moving to knoxville, the when in where confuses me, saddens me, and angers me. I have recognised that while i don't fight alot i can really harm a human being and because of that i lay down my fists at most measures. I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by great people and to be able to recognise the filth of this world and scrape myself of the slime. I'm not saying i'm perfect ... by far not. I'm moody, inconsiderate at times, far too loving, i am disturbed by compliments by most people, i am constantly confused by how life spins and what choices to make, and for god sakes i find myself revolting to look at.

I remember 2 years ago shutting myself inside a bathroom holding up a candle in hopes of seeing the demon within me. my heart was beating, the air went cold and the mood was present. but i found nothing by a reflection staring back. I remember almost a sense of disappointment overwhelming me, a need for something greater. Theology had failed me at that point. Enveloped in the darker cults slowly progressing throughout the web i'd decided to lay it down and trace back my roots. I spent countless hours reading the tablets of Gilgamesh , portions of the dead sea , the satanic bible, ceremonies of the masonics, traces of the knights templar, the bible *of course* , books of magic from king soleman all of which have brought me not a lick of happyness but have at least scratch an itch i've had.

I have wonderful friends, for that i'm very happy about. My brother lives in atlanta as we've been watching each other's back the best we can sense 8th grade, i'm sure he knows who he is. There are parts of me i'm not willing to share on a myspace blog however needless to say i've slept outside in the cold freezing with the rest of the ignorants out there. I've talked to people on the street dying of aids looking for that last quarter to drink what might be their last brew of coffee. I've given my few things away to other without a second glance. I"m left with nothing but books for the most part and what i would hope is a developed personality.

I have lost a good 15 to 20 lbs in the last month and a half tops, i now weigh less then i did in highschool. my stamina is coming back in leaps and bounds. i've worked with troubled youth, as well as lived with the messiest bit of them. and i don't feel i am speacial. I write when inspiration flows to me, and have for the most part been able to supress certain human natures known to me. I am not a virgin, I am not a whore. although i love fucking with people's heads about the topic of sex or indecency. all of this of course prob won't help you learn much more about me, and i guarentee i have been analized all my life, using psychology you've learned in a text book probably won't help you much either XP .

anywho this is pretty much part one of one person within me, transparent i might not be, however who needs a spy glass to look beneith the sheets and find the bug?

i'll prob put more up but out of curriosity if i've missed anythin about myself and you kow me some way, please offer a hand and inform my ass :P

Heme the secret weight loss hormone of the turn of the century

I just read a startling article , traditionally the heme portion of hemoglobin has been thought of only to help deliver oxygen to the body, however scientists recently discovered it to also influence the body's choice on weight loss / gain as well as sleep. They have also reclassified the heme as a hormone instead of the tradition protein. what does this mean? simply that your body produces this in abundance and naturally so by reconstructing the heme you may treat weight loss in a much more humane and asymptomatic way. as we all are familiar with weight loss drugs out on the market and procedures, what i find interesting is that it specifically could treat weight loss with no symptoms if done properly aka given in the proper dosage. what this also means is there may be a more efficient process out there on the medical market that will rape the current pharmaceutical companies drugs on weight loss. i'm interested to see if the companies jointly make a choice to try and hush up this research and not allow it on the market , labeling it as too competitive. Idk i thought i'd share this because i found it amazing that there could be something out there produced in such mass that effects our sleep and metabolic rate that much.

*edit i talked to jake about it, lol we had a nice little laugh about when lazy fuckers give themselves heme shots in the morning while munching on a nice vat of chicken.* the american way..... heme injections live your life large while still living small.

oh ho ho obama what? a farse fake scampie?

you conservative bastard you rofl... seriously idk where Obama thought giving money away would heal the economy , it's the most insane ridiculous notion ever, same with this free heath care with no taxation. the countries where all that works also has an incredibly high inflated taxation as well. i mean your takin money out of the economy to what give back when you know people won't buy, they will save it or send it to family some overseas. so really your not healing it at all your just shitting on your own country for the sake of what, father Mexico? fuck those balls and onto the heath care topic do you want to work with your doctors and try and force them to treat you just the same as some shit bag who norm wouldn't pay. they live their lives today in wealth off of treating those better who do pay. if i have health care that i pay out my mother fucking ass for i want the benefits in that. i don't want to have to go pay some Mexican doctor 5 bucks to fix my teeth just because i know the one in America is going to do just as shit of a job on me as some immigrant that comes to the nation. it's about as pretty a thought that the church has stayed out of politics. hell the church hasn't stayed out of politics even after the Knights Templar got run out of Europe and their entire navy disappeared. fact is just because both turn a blind eye towards one another doesn't mean that we have to... look at that tard, and for that matter any other religious fundamentalist that fights for presidency, they preach these ideas to the nation...only to make it to the spot of what should be wold power , and for what , a hypocritic view and outlook on how things really are? nay i say.... Obama won't change this nation any more then any other president has, the last one to help was Clinton and he did so by staying the fuck out of our business. he settled himself into a seat smoked a nice Cuban cigar all the while fucking his secretary and putting the leftover butt off on her twat. then he what gets called out for living the dream? fuck the nation... my god... if his wife wasn't a sight for sore eyes maybe he wouldn't belittle himself by fucking that sea donkey. how does this all tie in? it's easy , if we as Americans weren't constantly thinking we need to own everything and everything must always change for the better and not just stay the same, we wouldn't feel the urge to fuck ourselves in the ass with a big purple dildo called "AMERICA" any thoughts?I remind you of one thing something from one of my favorite movies fight club..."Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction... tonight we make soap**note then everything blew up*

- Rory Williams
Visit my Myspace and say hello!!!

Robin Williams the US Sniper

in the dream it was a mixture between the movie sniper where it's a battle between an American sniper and the Nazi major, and the tv show highlander. In the end of sniper you see this particular look of recognition on the nazi major as he knows he's going to die. it's this look that was on the heroine of the dream, oddly enough was not your young buff sexy man of flesh but instead it was Robin Williams of all people.he was sniping people from the top of the statue of liberty behind the crown. yet when the British who he's been shooting at found him out, he climbs down from the statue of liberty and runs into the woods *don't ask me why there is a wooded area by the statue of liberty* , it was amazing as Robin Williams pulls out a small curved scimitar the size of a Roman short sword and proceeds to pick the British soldiers inhabiting the woods off one by one. it was amazing... there can be only one and his name is Robin Williams lol.

any who that was my dream. I thought it was cool enough to share or at least fun enough lol.

Inappropriatly called a racists because of election

Right after i saw some old turd walk around waving his hand at a gang of screaming sirens on tv, i noticed eric was talking to me. so i turned my attention from the chaotic sounds of hell to the 6 foot 5 African American. his comment was something along the lines of who did you vote for, i bet it was Mccaine got to support your color... sighs. my response was no i voted for Obama however out of the two i think and thought he was very much the wrong candidate. i felt his economic plans were balls in comparison and he had virtually no healthcare plan formulated other then to try and give every douchbag on the streets insurance. him: and that's a bad thing? Me: it is if you can't get seen because every fucker with a cold wants to use their government insurance. Him: well your being racist because you don't want an African American in office: me: lord i chose him because i felt it was the proper step towards possibly a woman some day being in office. however, sense we're on that subject he's black not African American there's a bit of a difference. he's one a mix two he's not descendent of the slave trade, and three what do they call a Mexican mixed with a native? a mulatto so you pick a name. him oh lord you should be careful who you say that to, that's really racist. me: really because i was under the impression we were classifying a race of people. him: well my uncle is dying from kidney failure and lung complications and he has no health care or insurance so Vanderbuilt won't help him. sighs first let me say again... black is a pigmentation of a person's skin, i have the lack of thus i'm white. i'm European that is my heritage thus a black person from slave decent is a black African American. issues like this piss me off because it's their ignorance and getting sassy over not having an open mind as well as looking for a fight or way to be offended. second onto the insurance. telling me that because he doesn't have a job insurance health care plan, or anything to posable hold as an asset then i should be persuaded to feel bad for him. in 30 years you couldn't find work? come on, bullshit. when i'm old i'll have a plan of some kind as well as money to retire cuz i'll work my ass off to make sure of it. maybe if they were not such lazy shits, they wouldn't be in that position. i'm sorry your uncle has a kidney disfunction but he'd get treated with dialysis if he hadn't of fucked his life away then maybe he'd be treated.and i'm supposed to agree? fuck that. i would let the son of a bitch die too. why am i suppose to be sympathetic to that.i'm 24 and trying to insure that never happens to me. he's what and still hadn't gotten the idea? true the hospital won't help with his lungs however that's because he's either too old for a transplant, or he just didn't make the list for some other reason. he won't make a transplant list because it's considered a waste of good lungs on a dying man. they don't have enough lungs to spare to do that if it were like Canada's health care system or worse then theirs then guess what the med field would suffer worse. wtf good is insurance if it's hard to see a doctor for a cold even.it's a system of balance.if doctors and med professional start making shit money there would be even less medical professionals to help out because everyone would pick a field of worth. why would i bust my ass in school if I am going to make shit money and not be able to pay off even my student loans? you think i'd settle to have a salary of 30 k a year if i was a doctor? fuck that. and they expect special treatment for what? because we're supposed to feel sorry they are dying? i will too someday thank you. i hope they don't cry for me. it's a fact of life. if you can't work or havn't work. why would i save you. because i think your hair is pretty? lol don't make me laugh. because you support the idea of a country catering towards the uneducated and mediocre? good one... that's convincing. your useless breathing space just die. you don't contribute to society? just fucking die. i'm sorry if i seem cold but lord help me. there are already enough people as is. i have to fight for a job at fucking walmart. why in the fuck would i want him living to take my fucking job for which he won't be able to function correct on the floor and do it properly. i have another interview tomorrow but that's because i apply at no less then 4 to 5 places a day. i work hard for the ability to work.point is... you can if you fucking want it that bad. i'm dropping off a resume in a couple days to a lab place why can't they? i have no life right now, i don't eat away at the government. i have never collected workers comp. i don't collect food stamps. i don't pass go for wellfare.i don't get government insurance. i look for a fucking job to support myself and when i can't find it, i suffer like it's supposed to be. if i can't live i'll get a food box but i'll be damned if i ever drain this economy. welfare is supposed to be temporary not a permanent thing. And what are we giving it to? baby poppers? close your fucking legs bitches. I have and do when needed protect myself to NOT have children. i am fucking sure they can do the same thing. its not hard! you unroll the damn thing and slap the shit on your dick. fuck it.. if they don't want to use a condom fine, get fucked up the ass because your cooch shouldn't be in use. period then if you get prego, tell your kid they were created from ass dribble. lazy turds i just don't deal with shit like this well. i damn near starve myself for my ethics. I love people and honestly wish the best for them. Even more i'm selective about the people i fall in love with and just as much with the people i've had sex with. so why do i feel so fucking alone on that level. i've seen people fuck 40 girls in a year at min. they dont' care what they look like, who they are. i've seen my friend's abortion money get taken 2 days before her operation by a thief who chose to live by going to different houses and fucking women all the while stealing while they slept from lack of proper use from his tiny penis. it seems like some people's ethics are easily comprised. if people don't respect the same code i do in viewing individuals where morals are concerned or love is concerned, that's fine, it's their choice as it is mine. however i don't like hearing some shit monkey eating government cheese and going in for routine checkups and collecting their 1100 with 160 in food stamps, while i have worked my ass off 50 hours a week and got less then that, not even 1000 dollars a month. and i'm supposed to be happy about that shit and allow them to call me racist? that some lazy fucker is eating off the government while i break myself? fuck that. then they bitch when their body breaks down and vanderbuilt says um no we don't do work for free why did you choose to go to one of the most prestigious hospitals in this state. go to fucking some other hospital or clinic. don't go to vandy.they get reamed enough in free med bills because shit bags like them go and declare only vandy in a fucking emergency the shit bag doesn't have insurance because he got taken off it. i say good. you've been sucking it dry for too long. no wonder insurance companies won't cover you, you were on dialysis and have a broken lung. what did you THINK was gonna happen.is it fair? yes dammit. your old. your supposed to die, please vacate the area before i have to fucking drown you like afterbirth. or you don't want to pay your doctor but what your bladder emptied? fine give the shit hole to me.... i'll stick his catheter in. and ripp his gosh darn pee hole. bastard yet the fed gov gives this waste of space and time 10 thousand dollars. and they bitch. wtf. i mean seriously wtf they were like that won't pay for my med bill. nooo but it'll get you a bad ass funeral you turd. now shut up and die. if you save a little bit maybe you can tet some wheels with spinner rims on that coffin. we are in a nation of people that feel entitled to get everything they want, yet do not need. get a job and provide for you family what's sad is regardless of how much i despise illegal immigration i'm all up for them coming in and the waste of space leaving the country to take the space of those who jump the fence. i'm a gosh darn us citizen not someone to be taken care of. i will make my way through this world on my own two feet, my own power, and i refuse to bow down to animosity of people looking to pick battles to make themselves fell so fucking oppressed.we fine businesses 10 thousand dollars per illegal that works there.however i think it would be more justified to give them 10 thousand dollars to send home to their family along with a fucking reject and plague on society that's taking up hospital space. other nations have severe restraints put upon the immigrants, why not the people within too. they don't want unproductive dicks. so don't stop there kick out the bastards that don't do anything inside the country as well.the ones that stay won't be so unproductive and you won't see this kind of situation.

- Rory Williams

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Kill a cop for god.... WTF Is Wrong With Them

I was reading a couple articles today, as sad as it is in 2003 an officer Patrick Hardesty was killed during the line of action. I have many friends who are rockers punks, and have met some of the more famous of the line yet i think any of them would tell you that this offense to punk rock is nothing but a vulgar action of someone wishing to have some minute claim in the world by disturbing this poor family's peace. An album was released called "Kill a cop for god". to this i say to the artist you are one sick piece of work, while i dislike getting pulled over, i may also at times get in the face of authority i would never go this far. The local Tucson band has taken a pictured of the slain officer Erik Hite and placed it on their sick album. Their featured song mentions both of the officers along with john Montenegro Cruz and Nick Delich their killers. One of these men was killed for his crime after being put on death row. However i question you now who is worse , the person who pulled the trigger or the person who has stripped away every bit of happiness in these two families and nationally made fun of their tragic history. While quite a number of officers are enraged at this provocative album the band has proclaimed that they do not find it to be a big deal. Our soldiers go to war and fight for the very freedom we breath and our officers help maintain that freedom back at home. Yet we are supposed to believe that because people are able to make creative liberties and exercise their freedom of speech it makes them impervious to the very morals and ethics that this country was founded on. that we have fought for hundreds of years to produce a more perfect union of states, of different personalities, of different characters. Aaron Pillsbury , a member of this band believes that we area that it as an outrageous idea to assume that their album targets police and their families, that stealing a photo of a murdered cop could not potentially hurt anyone. Damon Pillsbury, who i assume is Aaron's brother or relative, thinks that just because it was written with joking intent, we are supposed to believe that it was a metaphor a symbol not to be glorified but to acknowledge what? that these men do not put their lives on the line for trashy pieces of shit like this? I can only hope that the Tucson Police will do either harass the fuck out of these bastards or put the full extent of the law against them. To the family members and friends still mourning a lost officer or patriot, i apologize for people giving punk and rock a bad name, for their insecurities, for their insensitive nature. Patrick and Erik will surely be missed, as will every other hero that dies serving this nation. While some family members of Patrick are content with the notion of the band members being parasitic leeches on society, I am not. the only band member who even acknowledges that this could potentially hurt someone was David Stine. While this does not excuse his role in this offense i can only hope, that the others will take heed and follow his example. Punk rockers have gotten a horrid name, as have the people that follow the scene, we are often outcasted by our neighbors and shown the amount of disrespect i'd show someone who spit on my mother. Yet even having seen , witnessed and been the victim of many such acts of either violence or open hatred towards, i am disheartened. While i could not locate the band's myspace to make sure the photo they displayed was pulled down, i hope that they have done this at least in an attempt to make amends for the atrocity they have performed. however i have uncovered that still these members blog about 5 cop killers whom in their eyes they see as the real heros of this nation. to shoot a man and leave him dying on the sidewalk, as he has made no a front to your very nature, is not just sick , it is the seed of evil that is embedded within today's culture and society. The first amendment gives you the right to speak freely, however i assure you, it is a crime to incite violence. It is a crime to threaten and / or intimidate others and it is a crime to abusively use the information and pictures on public record and domain. I am all for the american dollar. however i believe it should be done with hard work and you should contribute something before you pass to others. Hurting their feelings and inciting murder i do not believe is to be counted among these good charitable deeds. When bands prove to be something new and revolutionary i think it is amazing. i have always had a deep passion for music however making money from playing off the fear and sick antics of a genre is insanity. there is no logic to the argument, you make your buck and you are sued for that which you have made. create a revolution, please. however do not harm the fiber and blood that makes up the structure and integrity of what we have today. This band does not deserve sympathy as they are ridiculed by the public eye, because if they were before me i would cut off their nuts in an attempt to make sure their seed never made it into the world. In general, while they have done nothing other then offend me , and while i generally like to stay away from words like distaste and hate. i believe these men to be a plague on society, and would not wish their " flavorful" music or intentions on any adult or child that may be subjected to their music. in summary, FUCK YOU, You give a horrible name to punk.

- Rory Williams
Visit my Myspace and say hello!!!